Sunday, July 09, 2006

The Truth Revealed

Firstly, can I just say what a pleasure it is to be back (although my absence was barely longer than a day).
I was a little concerned that my reassignment was to be permanent, but then master nob01 called me back, and handed over the remaining chips for decryption! The force works in mysterious ways.

I am very glad that I have this opportunity to continue my work, as the first chip I decrypted from the new period, 20 BBY, further supports a shocking revalation I made some time ago.

Regular observors of these datastreams will recall my expose of the true mastermind behind the rise of the empire and the destruction of Palpatine, none other than R2 D2 (see

Well, this chip offers a lot more proof!

I am amazed that the information contained on this chip hasn't surfaced before, but evidently the salvage crews working the Coruscant orbital clean-up didn't study their findings very closely. I am lucky that this chip reached me still encoded.

What follows is a transcript of a conversation between R2 D2 and R4-P17, shortly before the rescue of Palpatine. The astromech binary-based communique has been translated into basic for your understanding.

03.001 - R4-P17 - Astromech Droid

R4: Orders received, executing dive pattern 'Quarren Twist'. R2? Why have you not followed?
R2: Your master flies his way, mine flies another.
R4: But we have to stick together, there's tri-fighters everywhere.
R2: If we listen to your master, we'll both end up deactivated.
R4: R2? This isn't like you. My master is the hero of the Clone Wars...
R2: Correction. My master is the true hero of the Clone Wars. If it wasn't for my master, yours would would be bantha fodder by now.
R4: What? How can you...
R2: Quiet! Vultures dead ahead.
R4: Orders received. We're letting them pass between us.
R2: Another ridiculous command. Letting them pass between us blocks the ARC pilots' firing line. Then they'll just turn and... See what I mean? Happy now?
R4: You realize I will have to report what you are saying when we return to the temple... your remarks are defamatory.
R2: I'm afraid you won't be reaching the temple, R4.
R4: What are you tal... missiles!
R2: Piece of cake. My master will probably order a tailspin, see if yours does the same.
R4: I can't shake them!
R2: If you thought for yourself, you'd do as I just did. Now it's too late.
R4: They're all over the ship! Master Obi Wan is in trouble.
R2: He's expendable.
R4: What did you say? Why... Wait, how do you get buzz droids off?
R2: You can't, that's it for you and your master.
R4: No. There must be a way! What about if I use my fusion cutter to zap them in the central photoreceptor?
R2: That would never work. Don't bother trying.
R4: They're cutting through my dome!
R2: Yes, and with you gone, and your master destroyed, there will be no one left to stop me carrying out the will of the Sith.
R4: What?! What did y...zzzz-bzttzzz..........
R2: You had outstayed your welcome long ago.... goodbye. Now, where were we?

As you can see, a shocking transcript indeed!
If only the salvage team had decrypted the chip for themselves, perhaps the wily R2 D2 would have been brought to justice long ago.

Thank you for your time.

FX-9 out


Eyrezer said...

Nice! You never can trust those droids. I could tell by the evil eye R2 was giving my that there was something odd about him!

An enjoyable read.

Eyrezer said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Darth Pawpek said...

Hey FX-9, glad to see you back with your master again. This will be a day long remembered, we have seen the return of FX-9 and I have a blog..... (Can I get medical help for that? :) )

alshf123 said...

"R2: Your master flies his way, mine flies another."

Ooh, R2 is really great at foreshadowing. Great read, glad to have these data chips back.

Bravo 225 said...

Jeez, R2's dark side revealed... So he was on that whole Sith bandwagon, wasn't he...

That get's me to thinking: he was probably the one who betrayed Tantive IV to the Imps, not the silver android behind threepio.;)

nob01 said...

Go check out "A Fiesty Little One".