Saturday, July 08, 2006

The Searchers

Greetings, greetings, one and all,

An unusual, and some might say, ominous, offering from the ugnaught chip bag today.
I found three identical chips, each one belonging to an obscure make of remote probe droid, little used in polite society.
Two of the chips were fried beyond use, but one still yielded up its contents after a furious session of decryption, backtracking and reconfiguration.
Here, for your perusal, are the communication logs of one of the probes - I'll retain the original coding used for authenticity.

01.011 - Sith Probe Droid - 1 of 3

32.04.98
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: Report.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: Please narrow search parameters, there are a lot of humonoids in this spaceport.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: I told you. Humanoid, probably wearing brown robes, probably bearded.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: That doesn't really help. Do you realize how many bearded humanoids wearing robes there are in Mos Espa?
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: And do you realize what suffering I can cause to an insolent droid?
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: Point taken. Human, beard, robe, got it.

45.87.99
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: Report.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: I'm not quite sure where I am, I'm transmitting a spectral, audio and odor datafile - please instruct.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: Uugghhh - great steaming sith spawn! Get the hell out of there!
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: Ah, I found a sign. Dewback scrubbing station.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: I... gathered..that. Stop... the...transmission.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: Understood, moving on.

42.44.01
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: I still can't get that smell out of my robes.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: I have good news. I followed a bearded man to the slave quarters. Unfortunately lost him in a sandstorm. He was with a kid and an amphibian, oh and an astromech droid. I'm pretty sure the droid saw me, but it didn't let on.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: I'm not looking for a slave.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: But, he didn't look li...
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: Stop wasting my time, he's a Jedi, not a slave. Go look for trouble, then you'll find him.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: If you say so.

76.82.02
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: Report.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: I found some trouble.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: And he was there?
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: Negative. Just two intoxicated Bith, a Kowakian Monkey Lizard and a loud Trandoshan, oh, and a power droid in the corner with a jawa on it.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: No Jedi?
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: No Jedi. This is all quite entertaining though. Would you like a spectral, audio, or....
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: No! Move on.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: Are you sure? I never knew a Bith could...
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: Move on!
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: Got it.

63.02.03
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: Report.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: This is crazy. You didn't tell me there was a podrace on.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: That is not my concern.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: Maybe not, but trying to find a humanoid in a robe with a beard isn't that tough. Just throw a chuba in any direction and you'll hit one.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: Let's make this easy. I'm transmitting an upgrade which will help you detect midichlorin levels in any given subject.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: Received. You couldn't have sent that earlier? it would have saved time.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: I grow tired of your protestations.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: Well, I'm just trying to be helpful. I... wait a minute, what's this?
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: You have him?
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: I think so. Tall humanoid, brown robes, beard, just oozing midichlorins. He's conversing with a Toydarian.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: Take a visual record then report back to me - I want to see this for myself. If you have indeed found my quarry, then I might spare your circuits.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: Visual record made. I'm on my way. That's interesting, I just picked up an usually high midichlorin reading moving at 600 clicks, and now it's gone.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: You're probably malfunctioning. Return now.
Dark Eye 2 to Shadow: I feel fine.
Shadow to Dark Eye 2: Get back here NOW!
Dark Eye 2 : (unintelligable muttering)

I found this quite fascinating, but I have no idea what it all means. Ah well.That is the end of the chips dated from around 40BBY. The next batch of chips are dated from around 30BBY - so I'll get on with decrypting them right away!

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