Saturday, July 08, 2006

The Pits

A curious data stream to view today. Within the ugnaught's bag, I found a small case containing several pit droid chips. The decryption was not complicated, but the resulting downloads were uninspiring to say the least. Most of them were concerned with long periods of boredom whilst in retracted stasis, punctuated with short bursts of premeditated mayhem. Then, of course, I came across the Ilum Crystal in the rough.

As I understand it, some organics claim that when faced with a life threatening situation, their past life 'flashes' before their eyes. Interestingly, this phenomenom does not seem to exclude mechanics.
I present to you, the rapid memory feedback loop of one such droid.

01.008 - Pit Droid designation DUM-4

77.519 - Master Mandrell's ventral thruster is overheating! Must get to the lower coupling before....aaiiieee!(Please note, it useful to wave hands, claws or servos in front of face for flashback sequence initiation)

63.003 - Switched on! Greetings master Mandrell. My data input registers a need to repair any transmission failures to your pod. I am ready to apply repairs at maximum efficiency, just after I throw this wrench at DUM-20.

63.016 - Coupling reattached in record n-secs. Master Mandrell has won the Dantooine Classic for second time. Long oil bath reward to follow. Someone has put a chuba in my tool box, again.

68.734 - Qualifying for Boonta Eve races. Set new record for thruster de-clogging, bits of jawa all over rear rotors. DUM-20 will be finding a desert slug in his lube tube tonight, heh heh.

71.542 - We are a well oiled machine, literally. Set new pit record of 4.8 n-secs. Master Mandrell maust be favorite to win Boonta Eve. Found my hydro-spanner in pile of eopie poodoo. DUM-20 still laughing.

74.932 - Final adjustments to main thrusters, those babies will suck a wortt out of a Hutt's gullet. I love my job.

75.218 - No, don't shut me down now! I still have to get revenge on DUM-20....

77.515 - Switched on! Greetings master Man... what's this on my main optical input? Who in the name of Watto's wingnuts welded a pair of goggles to my... DUM-20! Dammit! 1 hour before racetime, I have to get these off!

77.516 - OK, back to work. DUM-20 is still rolling around on the floor. Yes, laugh while you still can. The flags are out! OK, concentrate...

77.517 - They're off! Master Mandrell made a good start, the engine sounds beautiful. I guess I have a couple of minutes before they come around again...

77.518 - A radio signal from the master? What's wrong with the thruster? But it was perfect! Oh well, I'll just take a quick look when he pulls in.

77.519 - Master Mandrell's ventral thruster is overheating! Must get to the lower coupling before....aaiiieee!

77.519.5 - You might wonder why I'm laughing having just passed through the master's thruster. OK - so I'm out of a job. But, the wamp rat I stuffed in DUM-20's locker must be madder than a wookiee in a sauna by now. If I can... only... stay operational... long enough to... see it.... FFZTT.

You know what they say, all work and no play...

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