Saturday, July 08, 2006

Don't kill the messenger

Welcome back, purveyors of all that is artificially heartfelt,

Following the culmination of the chip set dated from around 40 BBY (see 'The Searchers' for the final data stream from that time), I have now begun analyzing and decrypting a large collection of silicon wafers that are dated (or were encoded) around 30 BBY. And let me tell you, this was a prime era for our droid bretheren! I have never seen so many different types of chips, most of them combat models, from just one time period, this should be an interesting collection.

We start with the private musings of a misunderstood unit, ASN-121, otherwise known as an assassin droid.

02.001 - Assassin Droid - ASN-121

54-6.3 - Master Wesell has kept me extremely busy as of late. Following that unpleasant business on Ord Mantell with the Gran siblings (which, I have to say, was a personal best time for infiltration and dioxin delivery into a suana), she, he, it, brought me to Coruscant. Ah, the big city lights, how I enjoy the challenge of death dealing in such a high security environment.

54-7.2 - A wonderful success today. Master Wesell set me quite a challenge - to infiltrate a Naboo Royal Cruiser, set a thero-charge, and get out, all within 10 clicks. Her, his, its contacts confirmed which landing platform the cruiser would be using, but we hadn't allowed for the twin starfighter escort, so a mid-air delivery was out of the question. Instead, I waited until the cruiser touched down, then flew in through one of the rear landing leg bays. I planted the charge while the engines were still winding down and used the left ventral exhaust port to make a hasty retreat. Just in time. That charge packed a mean wallop and took out the cruiser along with a portion of the platform and one of the starfighters - a job well done I thought. It was only later that we discovered that the ship was a decoy, oh well, all good practice I suppose.

55-4.3 - Master Wesell has been seeing a lot of Fett lately. I don't like him. He never uses ASN models to do his work for him, which quite frankly is putting many of my peers out of a job. He has given her another task, so hopefully my 'talents' will be stretched once again.

55-4.9 - As far as assassinations go, this has to be one of my least favorite methods. We have used kouhuns before, vile, stinking creatures, and it takes several lube scrubs to get their stench out of my delivery tube. Ah well, this should be a breeze. I'll just use the shield damper to get through the security barrier, the silicon cutter to fashion a delivery hole, and watch the carnage. The way organics writhe in pain after one of these bites is quite a spectacular show.

55-5.1 - Alert, alert! An organic has attached itself to me! My rear thrusters can barely handle the weight differential! I have tried dislodging it using building and vehicles, but the organic is proving quite resourceful. My best course of action would be to return to Master Wesell and let her, him, it take care of this matter.

55-5.1.5 - Master Wesell is in sight. Ah good, she, he, it has raised the rifle. A little lower, a little lower! What the...?

That is the end of the data feed. What goes around, comes around, as I have heard organics remark...

More to come, stay tuned.

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