Welcome back mechanics and organics, you are all equal in my eyes,
Today's chip spans several years, and includes some information that was not previously recorded. These droids never receive any acclaim, and yet, without them, the galaxy would be a hungry place.
Here are some selected entries.
02.005 - FLP-3 - Galley Droid
3.2-39: Fresh out of the culinary academy, and my first assignment is on Tatooine. Wonderful, just wonderful. The other trainees in my division said there is a running joke about working there, something along the lines of ,"Why don't they need any food prep. droids on Tatooine? Because of all the sandwiches there." I fail to see the humor in this, especially as I am being assigned to the Hutt.
4.1-39: This turning out to be worse than I could have possibly imagined. The Hutt insists on employing more species than I can keep count of, and their dietary needs are extremely varied. I have a wet larder for the Quarren, vast quantities of dubious-looking meats from all over the system, and a large, amphibious live tank for the master. It is quite frustrating how he refuses to eat anything I have cooked, instead he prefers his meals live and squealing. What a waste of my talents. I have offered to zest up his frogs with a twist of barru fruit, or even a pinch of opee salt, but he won't have it. I think I should hand in my notice.
7.23-30: Well, Jabba considered my resignation request, and nine years later, here I am on Coruscant. This is much more civilized, but still no stretch of my culinary expertise. It seems all these passengers want is soup or pancakes. How stimulating.
I have tried to spice things up a little, faamba cheese in the soup, or a hint of clarified nuna lard as the pancake base, but these commoners are not interested. I have to get off this liner. I even found myself serving an R2 unit today. That's the final straw! I'm off this boat at Naboo.
56.3-12: Why didn't I do this sooner? It's been 18 years since I jumped cruiser here on Naboo, and I was soon recognized for the talented chef that I am. I served in many households, until I was lucky enough to be part of the team assigned to the Emperor's retreat for one of his 'functions'. I must have made an impression (I think it was my kaadu fillets on stayne root puree), and I was sensible enough not to make a big fuss over being asked to serve (illegal) gungan nuggets. As a result of this event, I was acquired by the Emperor and now I find my way bound for his space station! How exciting!
7.2.00: I have just reviewed one of my old data files from 12 years ago. I seemed to be excited to to come here. If only I had known....No wonder they call this thing the Death Star, nobody eats enough to stay alive. Poor Master Tarkin is practically wasting away. If I could I would literally force one of my pies bewtween those hollow cheeks of his, and Lord Vader never comes to the mess hall. The Empire seems to think that there is no room for color or variety in this galaxy, so I am resigned to slopping up the same old gray mush day after day, with not one complaint from the staff or military. I'm going mad!
To cap it all, everyone is buzzing about some 'great victory party' that they have scheduled for their visit to the Yavin system, but I am being dropped off at the Kuat Yards to supervise the feeding of the crew working on the next station. Typical. However, I have been told they are wookiees, so perhaps it isn't a bad posting. At least I will get to work with some green ingredients for a change.
7.1.+4: Unbelievable! After 16 faithful years serving the Empire (and providing an endless supply of comfort food after that unfortunate incident at Yavin) I have been sold. It seems the Empire is liquidating the majority of its assets in order to fund something spectacular, and I am one of the 'expendables'. There's gratitude for you. Well, I hope they have fun, spinning around the Endor system.
Oh, and guess where I have ended up. Back on Tatooine. It just gets better.
64.2.+4: Finally, after all my years of suffering and being underappreciated, I have scored a contract worth my standing. I may be back in the employemnt of Jabba, but at least I am not in his palace. I have been assigned to his royal barge! Finally, a workplace where my culinary skills can be put to the test. The kitchen is well stocked, and the guests have quite discerning palletes, so this should be a galley droid's paradise. I have my first major test coming up tomorrow, as Master Jabba has requested a feast to accompany an execution he has planned at the Great Pit of Carkoon. From what I can gather, it appears some humanoids and a wookiee are to to be tossed to the sarlacc. Now, I wonder what kind of nibbles are best to serve at an execution....
I was lucky that I was able to extract this much information, as the chip was badly burned.
There's plenty more chips in this bag!
- ► 2007 (17)
- A Trandoshan Tale
- A head for protection.
- The Truth Revealed
- Riding the Rays
- The Thin, Red, Dusty Line
- Superma..um..Battledroid Returns.
- I don't go south of the river, mate.
- An Empire marches on its belly
- Mother's Lube
- The Waiting Game
- Maul Tease Falcon
- Don't kill the messenger
- Bonk, Gonk
- The Searchers
- The Pick Up Artist
- The Pits
- Thank the maker? I think not.
- Vulture Culture
- PK Whopper
- A fiesty little one
- Rollin' rollin' rollin'
- The Comings and Goings of a Battle Droid
- The droids will be heard!
- ▼ July (23)