Saturday, July 08, 2006

The Thin, Red, Dusty Line

Welcome, welcome, one and all, park your servos and have a ball.

Yes indeed, I am in a light-hearted mood today, inspired by the ridiculous datastream that I recently decrypted from another battle droid chip.
I chose this one, because it contained some information pertinent to the origin of the Clone Wars, and thus belonged to the group depicted on the second holo-vid records of the six part saga.
This particular battle droid, AAM-7, appears to have been the coordinator of one of the ground assaults on Geonosis, and as such, kept detailed records of all communications between its troops and itself.
Here, for your delectation, is one of the communications streams.

02.008 - Comm. Record of AAM-7, including Dwarf Spider Droid (DS-9), Hailfire Droid (Wheelie10) and Homing Spider Droid (HS-42).

AMM-7: Report status.
DS-9: Advancing.
Wheelie10: Advancing.
HS-42: Advancing.

AMM-7: Focus attack on quadrant O-52, take out those soldiers.
DS-9: Understood.
Wheelie10: Understood.
HS-42: Got it.

AMM-7: DS-9, engage ground troops at coordinates 34/21.
DS-9: Received.
Wheelie10: Watch your step, shorty.
DS-9: What did you call me?
AMM-7: Cut the chatter back there.
DS-9: Watch it, wheels.

AMM-7: HS-42, why are you retreating?
HS-42: I'm a homing droid, I'm going home.
AMM-7: Get back in there! Talk about rushed off the assembly line...

Wheelie10: Hey boss, I got an AT-PT in my sights.
AMM-7: Well, what are you waiting for? Get in there and give him all you've got!
Wheelie10: Roger that.

HS-42: Returning to battle now, sir.
AMM-7: Thank the maker. Wheelie10, report.
Wheelie10: Direct hit! Turning around now, sir.
AMM-7: Negative. Stay in there and take out their command post.
Wheelie10: With what, sir?
AMM-7: Your rockets.
Wheelie10: Used them all up, sir.
AMM-7: How could you...?
Wheelie10: I gave them everything I had, sir. I could try rolling over them.
DS-9: Yeah, that'll do it.
AMM-7: Just get back here for reloading.

HS-42: I'm having trouble here sir.
AMM-7: What now?
HS-42: Well, two things actually. First, this gun I have. It just fires one long beam. By the time I've targeted the enemy and fired, they have moved, and I blow up some more rocks. Then, these little white guys keep running between my legs and shooting upwards. I can't bring my laser under to bear on them, sir. In fact, they're doing it n....
AMM-7: HS-42, come in! HS-42, report.

DS-9: He's gone sir. Um, sir?
AMM-7: What is it DS-9?
DS-9: I'm having trouble negotiating the battlefield debris sir. My left forward leg is snared up in a speeder bike.
AMM-7: Well, blast it off.
DS-9: Same problem as HS-42, sir. Gun won't reach down that far. Uh oh, incomi....
AMM-7: DS-9, report.

Wheelie10: Shorty's bit it, sir. I'm on my way back now. Bit tricky navigating this wreckage though.
AMM-7: Just hurry back Wheelie10, I need more units on the field.
Wheelie10: Why are you not on the field, sir?
AMM-7: Just get back here!
Wheelie10: On my wa.....
AMM-7: Wheelie10? Wheelie10?
AMM-7: Control? Can I have some more droids please?

And there you have it.Back to the old drawing board for the C.I.S. I expect.

More to come!

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