Saturday, July 08, 2006

The droids will be heard!

Greetings organics everywhere!
Finally, all the unsung heroes of the entire Star Wars saga can be heard!
With my access to previously undownloaded databanks (I found a stash of chips in an Ugnaught's glove box), I can now make available the inner most thought processes of my metal breatheren. For some reason, organics only seem to be interested in a short period of history, from just before the Battle of Naboo, to the destruction of the second Death Star, so I will concentrate on this period - for now.
Logic dictates that I stream data from the very beginning, so sit back, grab a six pack of lube and take the weight off your servos.

01.001 - TC-14

5:43:02 - Finally! A reason for a good buffing. I just received orders to prepare for a visit from two rather prominent organics, ambassadors no less! First, a slow oil bath I think, then a gentle polish and perhaps a dab of 'Eau de Fusion Cutter' behind the aural inputs...

5:43:76 - Well, you would think that representatives of Queen Amidala herself would have made a bit more of an effort. Both of them have turned up in drab, brown robes, and one didn't even bother to shave, quite disgraceful. Hopefully their conversation will be more stimulating than their appearance.

5:44:09 - Of course, silly me, the two gentlemen are Jedi Knights. Still, you would think they would make more of an effort. My owners will be so excited to hear they have such distinguished guests on board.

5:44:12 - My owners don't seem to be tripping over themselves to meet the ambassadors, really, organics can be so rude sometimes. At least they have offered some cordiality with a drink. Now, what to serve? Jawa Juice? Bantha Milk? 3 in 1?

5:44:16 - DELAYED ENTRY - Oh my! No sooner had I delivered the drinks, then there was a gas leak in the ambassadors' room! I've never understood why it was necessary to pipe dioxin through the station, but each to their own.Then, when I left to fetch a maintenance droid, all hell broke loose.I'm not really sure who started it, but the battle droids started firing wildly, and then the ambassadors pulled out their laser swords and oh my, the carnage! Hopefully, this can all be resolved in a civilized manner.

5:44:33 - There now, it was just a storm in an oil cup. The gentlemen have left the station and my owners have just launched our entire company to Naboo for some sort of party, everyone except the protocol droids of course. Typical, I always get to miss out on the larger gatherings.

Ah well, perhaps protocol droids are not designed for a life of excitement...More data streams to follow...

FX-9 out.

No comments: