Your Stars from a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Recent excavations on the Hutt homeworld of Nal Hutta by the prominent Republic archeologists, Grego Resh’Ulte and Mikelaur Senn, have unearthed a set of fascinating manuscripts that were apparently forged several millennia ago by ancient Hutt star-gazers and myth scholars.

Deep in the catacombs beneath the Great Blaggo Library of Bilbousa, a data crystal was recovered and its contents analyzed. According to Dr. Resh’Ulte, they indicate a primitive belief in the fates of sentient creatures being entwined in the movements of celestial bodies.

Thanks to modern decryption and restoration, the ‘gah gahharn’ can be translated into basic as ‘horoscope’ – and furthermore, the investigative team has readjusted the original dates to accommodate our modern calendar.

To determine your sign, pair the sign that encompasses your date of birth with your family standing. For example, a female only child, born on July 18th, would be an Ice Mynock. She could then refer to her reading and fortune. So if a male human, born on September 12th is the oldest child in a sibling group of four, he would be a Plasma Acklay.

Enjoy this whimsical remnant of the ancient Hutts!

Signs (equivalent to)

Jan 1 – Feb 5 – Tauntaun
Feb 6 – Mar 11 – Bantha
Mar 12 – Apr 17 – Colo claw fish
Apr 18 – May 23 – Wamp rat
May 24 – June 28 – Rancor
Jun 29 – Aug 3 – Mynock
Aug 4 – Sept 6 – Wampa
Sept 7 – Oct 13 – Acklay
Oct 14 – Nov 19 – Nerf
Nov 20 – Dec 31 – Krayt dragon

Elements
Female
1st or only child - Crystal
2nd or middle child - Ice
3rd or higher sibling - Silica

Male
1st or only child - Magma
2nd or middle child - Carbonite
3rd or higher sibling - Plasma


Below is a translation from the original Nal Huttese of the meanings behind the signs. Simply combine the two meanings to get an overview of your character and fortune.

Sign Definitions


Sign of the Tauntaun
You are hardy and loyal, able to travel great distances without complaint or fatigue. You like to be aware of your surroundings, and are quick to vocalize any concerns you have to those around you. Although generally a secretive person, it doesn’t take much for you to open up.



Sign of the Bantha
When you enter a room, everyone notices. You are larger than life, amiable and happy to help others. Your good nature takes precedence over everything, including your appearance, but you plod on regardless, single-mindedly pursuing your goals.



Sign of the Colo Claw Fish
Agile and lithe, you like to explore your surroundings in the hope that an unexpected opportunity might arise. When you see such an opportunity you seize it, and make the most of it, but beware of being so engrossed in your endeavors that you fail to spot the ‘bigger fish’.



Sign of the Wamp Rat
Happily independent, you like to socialize with others, but don’t enjoy being exploited by those who would further their own careers off your misfortune. You try to keep a low profile, appearing only to grab at life’s tantalizing scraps as and when they appear.



Sign of the Rancor
On first appearance you might seem to be overly gruff and constantly hungry for more out of life. However, when those close to you get to know you, they will discover a misunderstood person, always ready with outstretched hands, with one companion that cares deeply for you.



Sign of the Mynock
Somewhat of a fly-by-night, you are a highly social person, with a tendency to latch onto friends and possessions with great vigor. You are constantly on the search for new ways to get more energy, and will soar above others as you lay claim to your own domain.



Sign of the Wampa
You are normally a solitary person, easily disarmed by a cutting remark. You regard a good time as when friends unexpectedly drop in for dinner, but you have a short temper for those who hang around, and will soon voice your disdain through your chilly demeanor.



Sign of the Acklay
Standing head and shoulders among your peers, you command much respect. However, be careful that this respect is not born from fear of your reactions to confrontation. People soon discover that you will only take so much prodding before you snap back.



Sign of the Nerf
You are a happy and contented person, always ready to follow the herd in whichever direction they lead you. Individualism is not a high priority for you, but you do have an opinion when it comes daily decisions, preferring to chew things over before leaping to any decisions.



Sign of the Krayt Dragon
You are a powerful and secretive person, allowing your reputation to precede you in matters of daily business. You like to keep to yourself, working quietly and quickly to attain your goals, but if you are crossed, then you show no mercy to your enemies.

Elemental Definitions.

Crystal – The Crystal female is beautiful, yet this fair exterior masks a rigid soul. She is not easily swayed from her punctuality and clarity of vision, but given enough time, constant pressure from external forces could result in fracturing. She must choose her friends carefully.

Ice – The Ice female sparkles in societal gatherings, but takes a long time to warm up to strangers. When warmth is established between the Ice female and her partner, she will stick to her object of affection and can only be moved when the conversation becomes heated.

Silica – The Silica female is always on the move, shifting locations and alliances with each passing whim. She is a carefree spirit, constantly adapting and allowing outside forces to mold her into their desired shapes, but at the same time, if allowed, she will smother her partner in a close relationship.

Magma – The Magma male is a torrent of boiling emotions. He is convinced there can be only one true path to happiness and will tread it relentlessly. He needs to be constantly on the move, or else he becomes stuck in a rut and crusty. In a heated argument he can hold his own with anyone.

Carbonite – The Carbonite male is a true dichotomy. He is extremely protective of his possessions and relationships, and yet will not let anyone into his own psyche. In all matters he stands tall and inflexible, and yet will melt, revealing his inner self, if the right person comes along to push his buttons.

Plasma – The Plasma male is bright and intense in all aspects of his life, yet can be so enthusiastic that he burns himself out too quickly. He can find a way through most obstacles in life, although he usually leaves some scarring which reveals his movements. Although his actions are generally very fast, they are powerful enough to leave a lasting impression.

Enjoy!

Allow me to present, Taun We.

Imagine my delight when I discovered via Bonnie Burton that I had inspired someone with my Salacious Crumb doll.

Check out the result here!

Following that, I watched the video profile of Bonnie by Craftzine.com (watch it here) and in it she mentioned that she loves receiving crafty gifts.

Well, seeing as she has been kind enough to feature my handiwork on the Official Blog, and knowing that she would be at WonderCon, I decided to make a little something for her.

This won't be my usual step by step guide, as it was rather more spontaneous than usual, but hopefully you'll get an idea of my thought processes (if there are any).

My initial plan was to make a pencil topper, thinking that a Kaminoan was the perfect build for such a thin object. I drew a rough plan.



However, as I started to cut out pieces (approximating again, I'm so naughty), I got carried away, and Taun We developed into into a full-fledged doll.
Here are the pieces before assembly.



Basically, I started with the head and worked my way down, sewing panels together and then to each other, and stuffing the head, neck and upper torso with polyfil.

I made the two legs and attached them, hiding the seams with a belt, and filled them with acrylic beads for weight. I then sewed some joints into her knees.

The detailing was painted on using acrylic paint - black and silver, and by cutting out small details from gray felt.

When Taun We was finished, I made a label to attach to her, and utilized the initial sketch I had made.



And so here is the final cloner!



Bonnie sent me some cool pictures of Taun We, one shows her helping out at the 'You Can Draw Star Wars' panel at WonderCon



and one shows Taun We in a meditative moment. Probably thinking about all the poor clones she has sent out to serve the Republic.




Thanks for dropping by!

Photo credits: Last two - Bonnie Burton, all the rest - me.

Operation: Crumb

During the holiday period, I thought it would be fun to take my mind off the Ottawa snow with another bout of frantic sewing and stuffing, and this time I used a slightly different source as my inspiration.

For the past six months I have been creating a comic strip based on the Star Wars universe, more specifically Jabba's Palace, and one character has been the driving force of many of my jokes - that character is Salacious B. Crumb.

You can see some of Salacious's misadventures over on the official blog for the comic strip - Turning to the Dork Side.

I began my attempt at a life size Crumb with the usual raid on my local Fabric Land store, and found the perfect light tan velour for his body and some black for his beak and claws. I also found some plain black buttons for his eyes and some crazy orangy-pink fur fabric for his hairy bits. Now I was ready to start!

As always, I approximated the panels and shapes I would need (I don't use much in the way of an exact science) and cut the templates out of plain white paper.



As with the cuddly Yoda I had made previously, I hand-stitched the panels together inside out, then turned the forms the right way out. You might be able to see some extra panels I put in the base of the head and torso to give them more shape.



The ears were then stitched together, and secured to the head with connecting pipe-cleaners - no stuffing because I wanted them to be floppy.



Once I had all the pieces stitched together, I could begin to stuff and assemble them. By this point I had sewn his eyes in, and I was really enjoying the ragged look to the stitching where the fabric had frayed slightly - this gave him a slightly 'scruffier' look!



Here you can see the pieces stuffed and ready to be attached to each other. The finger and toe nails were beyond fiddly, but turned out OK in the end.



Salacious waited patiently while I prepared his fur for his collar, top-knot and tail. He sits really well because I made a bean bag for his belly filled with acrylic beads. Just plant him and run!



And here he is, Salacious B. Crumb, as seen in Turning to the Dork Side.



I hope you have enjoyed my latest romp through the world of decidedly dodgy sewing, please feel free to drop me a line - I'd love to know what you think!

Cheerio!

The Yoda Project

At the start of the year I designed an alphabet for Oliver, the new little boy of some good friends of mine, and used the little 'blogalot' characters I drew for fellow StarWars.com bloggers to wear on their tee-shirts for Celebration IV and Celebration Europe.


With Oliver's first birthday fast approaching, I wanted to make him something special, and when I heard that he would be dressing as Yoda for Halloween then my decision was easy. I used the little blogalot Yoda as a starting point and started to make a soft toy version.

This cuddly Yoda was going to still retain the 2D qualities of the drawing, but be comfy enough to use as a pillow, so I began by making a template to create the two main halves - no side panels for this sewingly-challenged man!

The material I chose was a very soft, green blanket material which was strong enough to sew and not stretch like felt.

I then embroidered two small eyes, his mouth and his forehead winkles. I guess I should have used thicker thread, but as you will see, I was woefully ill-prepared for this project.

I then sewed the two panels together, leaving a gap on one arm for stuffing. Small, looping stitches did the trick.

When turned inside out (or back to how he should be), Yoda started to take shape, albeit a rather deflated shape.

I used polyfill to stuff him, carefully pushing the filler up into his extremities with a wooden spoon. I didn't over stuff him as I wanted him to retain his comfy pillow status.

"How you get so big, using filler of this kind?"

I used a simple brown cotton fabric to make a jerkin that would be under his cloak. He looks like a street gang member with his sleeveless shirt, but as his arms would be hidden by the cloak, no sleeves was one less kerfuffle to consider. I hemmed the neck line, crumpling it a bit to look like Yoda's, and then held everything in place with a strip of the same material for a belt. I also hemmed the bottom for a cleaner edge.

The outer cloak was made from a groovy, crimped material that gave it a great texture. I cut two arm holes in it, then sewed a couple of cylinders for his sleeves and attached them, cutting them to the desired shape and restitching them at the cuffs to keep them together. I folded the collar under itself, tacking it in place with some unsubtle black cotton dots (See? Totally unprepared. Brown cotton would have been much nicer). To keep the cloak in place I used a strip of the same material for another cheap and cheerful belt.

I used the same material for a hood, cutting a dart out of it and sewing it back together to give it some shape, then sewing it to the back of the collar.

Oliver loves playing with the tags that he gets on his toys, so I used photoshop to create one for his new cuddly Yoda.

And here's the finished Yoda, complete with brown felt 'gimer' stick for chewing on in times of deep thought and meditation.

And here's Oliver at his first birthday party, tired and emotional due to the fact that everyone wanted to take photos of him all night. His mom and dad, Stephanie and Greg, look on as Oliver contemplates the use for a homemade, cuddly Yoda. I'm sure he'll figure something out.

Thank you to Greg and Stephanie for letting me use their picture in this blog, and thanks to you for taking the time to read it! I hope you enjoyed my blow by blow account of one man's clumsy struggles with a soft toy.

Next week, a life-size, cuddly Death Star.

Celebration Reviews

Celebration Europe

Triumph in the face of Adversity – So Much for British Punctuality

Friday 13th July 2007

From the exterior of the ExCel Centre, a casual visitor would never have guessed that within its walls resided a Star Wars playground for ages 4 to 84. Actually I was a little disappointed when I arrived with my entourage on Thursday to pick up my Hyperspace lanyard, and the décor inside did little to alleviate my fears. A couple of markers and a half-mossed X-Wing – it almost seemed like the organisers were embarrassed to admit what would be happening that weekend. The heat in the hall was stifling, and the volunteers I chatted to told me that they had only just arrived that afternoon, and nobody knew what they were supposed to be doing. I didn’t need the Force to understand the sinking sensation I was feeling. When we asked for our lanyards the checking process seemed a bit complicated for our helper and then, when we heard that the friends and family coupons (as well as the other badges, the programs and the schedule guides) were on a train somewhere, more alarm bells went off. The kind of screeching, booming alarms that you normally only ever hear when two Star Destroyers are about to collide. On the plus side, due to the lack of family coupons, we were all given Hyperspace lanyards, and this would turn out to be a Godsend. I went home that evening with a sense of foreboding gnawing away at my insides.

Friday arrived, and we reached the centre at 7:30 AM – to find ourselves about 200 bodies back in the queue. Costumes started to appear and the presence of gruff, pot-bellied security guards did nothing to quell the palpable excitement brewing in the throng. When we were let in to the ‘holding area’, I was pleasantly surprised to see the giant inflatable Death Star from LA hovering overhead, but the darkness of the room, the black light, lasers and star field were a much better setting, and I began to perk up. A glimpse of a life-size Jabba through the door (different from the LA one) added fuel to my fanboy fire. A brief moment of excitement when a temporary wall collapsed on the opposite line up added to the drama of the moment. Thankfully nobody was hurt and the organisers should thank their lucky stars that this was taking place in England, where folks aren’t yet used to suing at every opportunity.

When the eager crowd was finally let in we went straight to the autograph voucher line, as acquiring Mark Hamill’s siggy was one of our priorities. The line was mercifully short, and we were told to return at 2:00 PM – little did we know we would be entering a world of hurt at that time… That done, we then hightailed it into the exhibition proper, and the first thing to strike me was the amount of space available – there was room to breathe! As I meandered over to the McQuarrie booth, I had a chance to take in the sights; an almost full size AT-AT made a marvellous meeting point in the centre of the hall, a full size snowspeeder sat parked on the carpet, its canopy open for visitors to get behind the harpoon gun, a snowtrooper manned an E-web mounted blaster and murky steam rose from the swamp of Dagobah, where younglings were being invited to take on the dark side. In terms of ambience and ‘Star Warsiness’ they had done a great job. We sat behind the chess table on the deck of the Falcon, pondering whether to have a go at the Tantive IV filming experience, or to try to find the Palitoy exhibition (we did, finally, on the last day).

The artist alley was just that, a narrow tunnel lined with the best illustrators in the galaxy, many familiar faces from C IV and a couple of new ones. I said my hellos to those that knew me, and sized up the prints I coveted – although the conversion bells kept going off in my head as I realised that the print I wanted was double the price in dollars. Trying to snap out of my currency woes I wandered into the seller’s area, which seemed less manic than LA, actually rather polite. I walked past small objects of desire, shielding my eyes from their plastic wondrousness, and breezed around the fan club area admiring the commitment of the organisers, their displays and their big hearts. There would be some happy charities at the end of this event.

By this time the ordinary ones (humans without fan club status) were starting to trickle in, but you wouldn’t know it, there was still plenty of space to run around and visit every booth, frantically scooping up freebies for the boys and girls back in the States. This was no unscrupulous act though, I only grabbed a few extra Hasbro coins, McQuarrie bookmarks and the such, just for my collecting buddies, and they won’t end up being sold! As an aside, that night, the freebie coins were already being sold on eBay for 5 quid…

As my entourage and I swanned around the main floor, we took in the delights of the Lucasarts stand, which was, not surprisingly, touting The Force Unleashed with great gusto. We then descended on the Lego display, oohing and ahhing at the sight of so many little plastic bricks being used in such a fantastic manner. The new Falcon was a sight to behold, and the Mos Eisley docking bay and surrounding area was a great way to show it off. Nearby stood a huge sandcrawler, with a competition to guess the number of bricks used. Judging from the entries on view, the answer is somewhere between four thousand bricks and one and half million bricks.

After the youngest member of our group (seven year old Bruce) received his stormtrooper tattoo, it was off to the giant inflatable obstacle course. This was provided by the Army, and along with the Navy’s climbing wall and display, these were the only two areas that left a bitter taste in my mouth. Ok, so a large event needs sponsors, and I have nothing against the fine men and women who serve our country, but what the hell are two branches of the military doing at a Star Wars celebration? The Royal Navy display showing clone troopers morphing into marines, an apache helicopter on Geonosis and tanks alongside AT-TEs made me really mad.

Next up was Jedi training – on Dagobah! The set that had been built for this event was fantastic, the twisted roots and smoke added to the general ambience, and the volunteer Jedi masters threw themselves into their roles with wild abandon. The Emperor made a scary entrance, then brought out his puppy, Vader, and you could see the kids cringe as he strode into their midst. The new younglings saw off the baddies with ease (helped by a collective force push from the audience) and took their bows – wonderful stuff.

A quick jaunt around the rest of the stands, grabbing freebies and buying long sought after items, and then it was time to join the queue for Mark Hamill. Just to be on the safe side, we returned at 1:30 – to be confronted by a mass of angry and confused punters laying into a bemused security guard, plus an abnormally long queue, which snaked around and out of the autograph hall with no apparent beginning or end. People in this mysterious line (a weekend-long phenomenon) were getting agitated and were also being disowned by the organisers, so tempers were simmering nicely.
Following some aggressive negotiations, my group was finally let into the main line, and we slowly made our way towards the front, catching glimpses of Mark along the way.

Suddenly, the security chaps began forming a couple of new lines, and staggering the people who were sent forward to the table of the Skywalker.
To say this caused a kerfuffle is an understatement, and as shouts were exchanged between the lines, a shaven-headed thug with a neck like a Reek finally boiled over, turning the line into battlefield as he screamed expletives and threats at a guy next to him, both men reddening like angry lobsters and balling their fists ready to bring the quaint old tradition of British hooliganism to a Star Wars celebration. As people stepped out of the line of fire, and we shielded the children with us, a couple of sensible types stepped in between the idiots and calmed the situation down. The irony of all this was that the British Bulldog who was ready to punch several colours of poodoo out of the other chap was holding his beloved Star Wars annual under his arm, a remnant of happier times I guessed. Excitement over, we finally reached Mark, and suddenly all tension was gone. He was extremely friendly, chatty and more than happy to pose for pictures, despite the protestations of his entourage. What a thrill. This was Mark Hamill, hero of the saga that I have loved for 30 years, and now my day was complete. Was it worth 85 quid? Hell, yeah!

As the first day drew to a close, and we all assembled outside for the opening ceremonies, I suddenly realized that I had achieved all of my goals in one fell swoop. I had got my autographs, picked up my McQuarrie prints, bought stuff I didn’t need, shown little Bruce a good time and met up with fellow bloggers and other celebs. Now I could kick back and relax for the next two days, and just soak up the atmosphere without any panicky running around! The opening ceremonies were fun, Steve Sansweet looked a bit windswept, Mark looked like he needed a Guinness, and Ian McDiarmid was a joy to watch as he squirmed under the weight of public speaking and bad puns (what a guy!) As the Tantive IV was boarded and a bunch of Rebels in costume ran across the bottom of the screen, I reflected on a great day, and went home tired but happy. Little did I know what the Dark Side had in store for tomorrow…

Into the Alley of Darth, Strode the Five Thousand.

Saturday

Due to an extraordinarily successful first day, I had no pressing requirements, and I therefore decided I would take it easy on Saturday. However, this idea didn’t stop me from turning up at 7:30 am again – perhaps it was the lure of a breakfast panini that drew me in so early. As I munched on my artery-hardening delight, I got chatting to a chap sitting opposite me doing the very same thing. After some amiable banter I learned that he was Rich from Weston, and he had drawn a caricature of Steve Sansweet that he was hoping to present to him that afternoon. Not only was Rich a nice guy, but he also gave me a copy of the very same drawing – the day had begun well!

My entourage turned up a little while later, with some special guests in tow – my mum, and my seven-year-old nephew, Sean. Mum was there at my behest to see how much cash we could be wallowing in if she hadn’t sold my entire vintage Star Wars collection for £16 when I was at University, and Sean was there because he had rather alarmingly told me that his favourite film was Grease, and I knew he had to restart his training…

Judging by the crowds already forming at the ticket booth, it was going to be a busy day, but we consoled ourselves with the thought that we would at least be able to enjoy an hour inside before the public swamped us – how wrong we were. I suppose the organisers, in their infinite wisdom, thought the line was getting a bit long, and so decided to open the flood gates at 9:30 AM – so much for an hour for the fans. The day then turned into the complete opposite of Friday. Where Friday had been a leisurely frolic through the exhibits, Saturday quickly became a fight for survival and an event only a queue-lover could enjoy. Compounding this was Sean’s sudden revelation that he didn’t want to line up for anything, and right then I knew my nuna was cooked.

Our first stop was at the artist alley. Sean had used Bonnie’s book, You Can Draw Star Wars, to attempt a drawing of Luke Skywalker, and he proudly showed it to Matt Busch. Matt, to his credit, was fantastic, heaping praise upon Sean’s drawing and signing some sketchpads for him – Sean is now enamoured with Matt, and has decided that if he fails to become a football player he would like to be an artist. I was really happy to see all the artists interacting so wonderfully with their fans and the kids, and it was a pleasure to introduce my little group to Joe Corroney, who continues to be a diamond geezer, showering the children with stickers and encouragement.

Next up was the Clone Wars trailer. Although I had been in the first lucky group in LA to see this, I wanted my gang to experience the big screen, 5.1 sound version and so dragged them all in. The little ones got a bit bored during the introduction (but it’s Dave Filoni! How can you be bored??), but when Steve Sansweet introduced the trailer, their mouths hung open in awe. Meanwhile, I got the same tingly, weepy feeling I had in LA, and I have concluded that I am either really excited about the new series, or I am having a mental breakdown.

Hunger and emotions swayed the next decision, and instead to going to see Charlie Ross, we hunkered down to an early lunch. It’s interesting how eating always seems to be the highlight of any small child’s day. After lunch I let my entourage wander off to check out the Vader project, while Kuldip and I went to Rick McCallum’s talk. Rick didn’t disappoint. His banter with Warwick was priceless and he was relaxed and forthcoming about everything, including the Young Indiana Jones DVDs and the web-busting notion of 400 live action episodes (an aside he may live to regret). The measure of the man’s generosity can be evaluated when a couple of the audience members who got to ask him questions did the usual thing that makes everyone groan. The first one was a chap who asked about the writers who would be working on the new TV show, then promptly waved his own spec script around and asked Rick if he would take a look at it. Rick actually said OK, and allowed the guy to bring the script to him – very cool. Then another fan stood up, waving his fan film around and asking how he could get either George or Rick to watch it. Without hesitation, Rick invited him to the stage and took the disk, vowing to watch it later that day. I have reliable sources that tell me that he did indeed take it straight back to the hotel to watch it. That just about sums Rick up – he is truly a man for the fans!

Immediately after Rick’s talk, we wanted to get back in line for the costume pageant, but we were called over by a couple from Austria we had met earlier in the day who were at the head of the line, and we joined them. What a nice couple! Kuldip spotted Warwick waiting for the next show and told me to get him to sign a child’s pass we had picked up that featured Wicket. I grabbed my Star Wars novel (which is filling up nicely) and trotted over to Mr. Davis. When I asked for his autograph on both items he scolded me, saying I being a bit cheeky, but signed them anyway. When I got back in line I told Kuldip she should have asked him, as her Canadian accent and saucy smile would have won him over a lot easier than my cockney bulk.

While seated for the costume pageant, my entourage caught up with us and we settled in for an hour of homemade fun. The costumes were great – ranging from the intricate, to the hysterical, to the downright too cute. Jedi Iain put on a good show (surely the tallest Jedi in the temple), and Warwick had a meltdown as he tried to unscramble the notes he had been given. All in all a fun time was had, and though we didn’t agree with the judges’ decisions, we had a lot of fun. Also my mind was made up – and you will be able to cheer me on when I enter the pageant in LA in 2009. Not telling you what I’m wearing though!

By this time of day, the crowds were starting to thin out and we took the opportunity to peruse the autograph hall and merchandise stands. I introduced Sean to the fine folks on the McQuarrie table, and taught him the fine art of bookmark collecting. We had a great chat with Paul, Athena and Stan who were running the McQuarrie table, and formed some remarkable new friendships (Kuldip and I met Paul and Athena for lunch in Greenwich a week after the event, and I felt like I had known them for years – great company). Saying our goodbyes to them, we then strolled back down the artist alley so that Sean could gaze at Matt once more, and then performed a final sweep of the main hall before saying our goodbyes and going our separate ways.

Had my mission been successful? Had Sean been turned away from the Grease Side, and back to the light? Well, a few days later, I received a call from my sister telling me that Sean had just made his own clone trooper armour completely out of white paper, and rustled around the house all day. Then, a few days later, Sean and I sat down to build a Dagobah diorama for his newly acquired X-wing – so yes, maybe there was hope for the youngling after all…

Evacuate? In our moment of triumph?

Sunday

Once again my pitiful little band arrived bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at the ExCel Centre nice and early, ready for a full day’s shopping. Yep – today was the day when the plastic would come out and, ultimately, return to the wallet several hours later, whimpering.

We started with a sweeping tour of the stalls, eyeing several desirables, and hoping they would still be there when we returned at the end of the day ready for some intense bartering – ah, the thrill of the chase. While we waited for the kick off, my lovely wife and I decided to head to the Vader Project.

I had seen many of the designs in previous reports from C IV, but I was delighted to see that they had been added to by a gaggle of insane European artists, and I enjoyed checking them out. The ‘Illustrated Trooper’ was a hoot, and I hope this idea can be repeated for future conventions, perhaps with different characters – I for one would pay money to see a full-size Jabba tattooed by industry professionals! The skills and imagination on display in the Vader Project highlighted one of the key differences between the US and Euro celebrations. It really felt like there was an undercurrent of outlandishness and danger in the European artwork on show, which made it much more interesting. It’s the cultural mix that provides this, and possibly a touch of bias on my part. Hey, nobody said my report was to be impartial…

One of the great mysteries of Celebration Europe was why several rooms were hidden away in a hard to access upper corridor, and it didn’t surprise me that many fans couldn’t find either the fan lounge, the Palitoy display or the collector panels. Thankfully, I found all three on this last day, and went up to check them out.

The Palitoy display was awesome, and brought back many happy memories. The collection was incredibly comprehensive and complete, and I found myself re-reading old adverts that I had read as a child, even feeling a pang of sadness when I saw the ‘design a droid’ competition and remembering how my own design was foolishly ignored by the judges. The toys were in superb condition, many mint in package, and I recalled how I removed the ridiculous lightsabers from Luke, Darth and Ben’s arms, and replaced them with painted cocktail sticks.

I poked my head briefly into the fan lounge, and saw a bunch of fans lounging around, and then we headed to our first (and only) collecting panel – ‘Hilarious Star Wars Collectibles’. During an extremely entertaining lecture, I discovered that a great deal of my favourite items currently sitting on my shelves at home, are considered ‘hilarious’. I guess I am inclined to agree – that’s probably why I bought them in the first place. If you know anything about inappropriate Star Wars collectibles, you’ll understand what I mean when I say I now covet the C-3PO tape dispenser…
The lecture concluded with the almost religious ceremony of the collector coin delivery. It’s nice to get one (for the record, the Polish coin with Vader on it), and it’s also nice to know I have something of value to leave to my children, LOL.

The rest of the afternoon was spent wandering the grounds, hoping to see the Vader balloon inflate (it didn’t), watching the Rebel Scum photo shoot with Peter Mayhew and chatting with other fans. I was delighted to discover that I had won a prize on the 501st Droid Hunt, and picked up a Spanish PotF Princess Leia figure. I have to say; meeting the various garrisons of the 501st was another highlight. A German Trooper gave my droid hunt badge to me, my badge was then surrendered to a Dutch Trooper, and I helped a French Trooper get his cigarettes out of his gun holster – naughty French Trooper. I mentioned this to one of the UK Storm Troopers, and he told me that if any of the UK Troops were seen smoking or buying stuff, they would be expelled from the garrison – makes you proud to be British! The 501st then went outside for their own photo shoot, and I don’t know about you, but I can never get enough of watching those amazing costumers marching in unison, as precise as real troops. One of my friends was disappointed that they didn’t get a cheer from the crowds, and went to thank the garrisons personally for their hard work during the celebration. I would have gone with her, but I was busy running around the merchandise at this point.

And so this was how the celebration was to end; a last minute dash for bargains and posters. Indeed I did pick up some desirables, and artist’s alley had become a feeding frenzy. Most of the artists there were quite bemused that they still had over two hundred of their two hundred and fifty run prints left, and this was another indicator of the difference between the US and Euro conventions. In Europe, folks don’t really go in for buying prints, in fact one artist told me that he had many people walk by his work and ask him questions about the artist, thinking he was just the seller. I guess the concept of artists selling limited editions of their own work hasn’t really caught on yet. Any way, this benefited shady characters like me, who revelled in the knock down prices and two for one offers, swelling my print collection quite nicely.

Another quick wander around the exterior of the building led to a chance encounter with Bonnie Burton and we had a great little chat about the two conventions. She was tired but happy – a reflection of the way most of us felt!

And so, another celebration came to an end. We said our goodbyes to friends old and new, and took one last look at the emptying events hall as we made our way to the car park. I was a bag of mixed feelings - sadness, joy, exhaustion, and anticipation. The buzz on the air was of the next Celebration in LA, expected to take place in May 2009. The Clone Wars will be running on TV, the live action series will be on the horizon, and my love for Star Wars will be just as robust as always, only next time, I will be dressed in costume.

See you there!

Celebration Four - LA

Fat Man Running – One Fan’s Perspective of Celebration IV

I was ten years old in the summer of 1977, and I was running breathlessly from my Junior School in Romford, Essex, all the way to the Odeon Cinema downtown to see the film that everyone was talking about.
Fast forward 30 years, and I am running breathlessly through the corridors of the LA Staples Convention Center in a futile attempt to get to the Ralph McQuarrie table before the scalpers – to no avail.
I might be older, fatter and balder than that little kid all those years ago, but the excitement is equally exhilarating, an all-consuming wave of giddy joy and anticipation.

Star Wars does this to a person.

Celebration IV was to be my first Star Wars convention, having moved to America in 2005. I was looking forward to it for many reasons, but mostly to relish the opportunity to surround myself with like-minded fans in an environment purely devoted to the films that have shaped my life for three decades.

Waiting in line to get in each day was never a chore. There were always costumed fans walking the lines, stopping for photos and chatting with us, and often it took just one word or phrase to initiate an engaging conversation with the stranger in the ‘Han shot first’ tee shirt behind me. I soon learned to wait a while before getting in line, as it would snake around and beneath an overpass, which would afford us some shade, and prevent me entering the halls looking like an over-boiled Mon Calamari.

Once inside the convention center, I was blown away by the scale of everything; the hanging banners, an enormous inflatable Death Star looming ominously overhead, Vader’s surgical table emanating painful memories of a young man’s transformation. Fellow fans milled about, some looking around in awe, others rushing straight for the buyer’s room.

And what a buyer’s room.

The chaos was at once nerve-wracking and enticing. Everywhere I looked there would be a huge display of merchandise that seemed even more desirable under the glare of the overhead lights. Gentle Giant rubbed shoulders with Sideshow Collectables, who faced Hasbro who jostled for space with Lego who funneled us towards LucasArts, and the list goes on. Everywhere I looked there were nervous collectors joining lines that spiraled around company displays, teasing them with glimpses of the exclusive items that would be sold out before they reached the front of the queue.

Occasionally it was necessary to come up for air, and it was a relief to squeeze out from between the concept figures and glowing Yodas and enter the artists’ alley. More than two dozen artists from all arms of the galaxy spread their creations on their booth tables and pinned them to the walls, creating a kaleidoscope of colors and familiar faces. It was a joy to wander around, checking out the imagination and skills of these folks, chatting to one or two, and buying several prints that simply could not be ignored. Thankfully I was prepared and had the foresight to bring a large poster tube; all those years of dubious leg slapping in the boy scouts finally paid off.

Next to the artwork was the autograph area, filled to the brim with celebrities from all six films; all of them friendly and approachable. I took this opportunity to add more names to my beaten up copy of Star Wars, a first edition that has been with me through thick and thin, and I scored many that I thought I would never get. Curiously, I was most in awe of Julian Glover, and he was the only actor I didn’t call by his first name. I was also particularly stoked to get Paul Blake’s (Greedo) siggy in the book – I have a bit of a thing for Rodian underdogs I guess.
As a side note, how cool is it to get home to an email from Mary Oyaya (Luminara Unduli) thanking me for coming to see her?

That’s what I’m talking about – the feeling of belonging to one, enormous, family.

Next to the central buyers’ hall was the fan activities hall, a quiet oasis of tranquility in comparison to its noisy neighbour. Here I found many fine, fan-run groups peddling their wares and inviting new members. A full-scale x-wing sat front and center; perpetually smothered with eager children and enthusiastically plump adults in orange jumpsuits. The 501st legion patrolled around their own booth, gently recruiting rather than forcibly subscribing, and in the middle of the hall, a giant Forest Moon of Endor diorama slowly took shape as fans young and old built trees complete with huts and walkways. At fifteen-minute intervals, a bunch of tiny speeder bikes would race through the giant paper redwoods, complete with screaming sound effects and Luke shouting at everyone – wonderful stuff!
Every so often, the atmosphere in the hall would be pierced by the sounds of scores of tiny lightsabers as padawan learners squared off against Vader and his troops, while beautifully constructed astromechs navigated a tricky course and stormtroopers fell over each other in the Imperial Olympics.

A trip to the west wing of the center took me to the Celebration Store, and with careful planning I didn’t wait for one second to get in. It was huge, and full of more desirable stuff, some of it selling out on the first day (badges anyone?). It was a bit of a pain when I saw everything I had purchased being sold on the last day at 50% off – but that was a lesson I shall remember for future Celebrations…

There were so many events and panels going on that it was a foregone conclusion that I would miss many of the things I wanted to see, but I did manage to get to many great events, including:

Slave Leia Belly Dancing Lessons – with respect for my fellow man I chose not to get up on stage, but Amira was fabulous and it was an entertaining hour. I was also lucky enough to interview Amira as part of an up and coming documentary I am shooting in the summer called A Place in the Galaxy.

Date with a Princess – Carrie Fisher lit up the stage with her good nature and hysterical anecdotes, what a treat. Later I managed to get several items autographed – hello ebay! (I kid)

A Hour with Jay Laga’aia – Jay is the consummate presenter and entertainer, and he kept us all enthralled with his stories and singing - man, he can belt out a tune with the best of them!

Opening Ceremonies – Free stamps! Cake! Bomb scares! Eardrum popping, rocket pack launched Boba Fett! Steve Sansweet in an ewok costume! Lots of adverts for stuff we already knew about! The lack of any Georges, Ricks or anyone else… meh.

A conversation with Robert Watts, Richard Edlund, Ken Raylston, Ben Burtt, Norman Reynolds and Phil Tippet – These are some of the visionaries that helped create the saga in the first place. Imagine what would have happened if the visual effects had been sub-par, if the sound effects sounded, well, dodgy… Robert Watts stole the show – what a character. Possibly alcohol fueled – but a character all the same.

The Clone Wars – Oh my giddy aunt. I was in the first group to see this preview of the new animated TV show, and they teased us like kittens with a feather on a thread. Dave Filoni is quite possibly the nicest guy I have ever met, and the fact that he is the supervising director of the series gives cause for celebration. Of course, by now you might know that they did indeed show us a giant, high def, thunderously loud preview of the show, and then promptly rewound it and showed it again. What you don’t know is how extraordinary the reception was from the fans. The cheers, the applause, the standing ovations were all well deserved, and I left the auditorium with tears in my eyes. In one fell swoop; Dave, Catherine (the producer) and the crew had shaved thirty years off my life.

One Man Star Wars Trilogy – Charlie Ross is a genius that much is already known, and his show had me rolling around with laughter. What I was not expecting however was the way his final words, “Celebrate the Love”, turned on my waterworks once again… what an emotional day.

As I reflected upon my spontaneous bursts of blubbing, I began to realize how important Star Wars really was to me. Indeed, the first trilogy shaped my early career choices, prompting me to attend art school so that I might emulate Joe Johnston, Harrison Ellenshaw and Ralph McQuarrie. Later, the saga would lead me to a kindred spirit in my beautiful wife, Kuldip, and now I am a filmmaker, nestled in a group of hills just one hour south of Skywalker Ranch.

As the doors finally closed on Celebration IV, and I hugged my new friends goodbye, I was a raging maelstrom of emotions, of sadness, of exhilaration and ultimately, of optimism.

It was then that Kuldip chose to wave a pair of tickets to Celebration Europe in my face. We certainly can’t afford it, the airfare alone will financially cripple us, and I can’t wait to see everyone there…

If you attend, you won’t be able to miss me. I’ll be the overweight guy in the Slave Leia tee shirt, running breathlessly from hall to hall, with the biggest grin in the galaxy on my face.

Building Dagobah

Having been inspired by the Dagobah set built for the Jedi Training Academy at celebration Europe, my seven year old nephew, Sean, wanted to build something with his favorite uncle, me.

As he had already purchased a Revell x-wing model kit from the event, we thought it would be a good idea to have a go at building a diorama of the swamp planet, a fitting display for his model.

First, Sean had to make the x-wing - not so easy for little fingers, so his uncle helped him.

Next we painted the x-wing to look dirty and muddy, and poked 'moss' into the engine intakes. The moss was from a hobby shop, the type you can buy for building landscapes, and all the paint we used was acrylic as the plastic nature of the paint helped items stick together.

We then picked up a good sized box from the shop across the road and cut it to shape, using the extra pieces of card to form ledges and lake banks.

For the huge-rooted trees of Dagobah, we twisted pipe-cleaners together to form the trunk and roots, and then began to papier mache over them, building them up to the desired thickness.

While we still had bowls of wallpaper paste, we papier mached the rest of the set, forming lumps of the soggy paper into 'rocks' and creating a textured surface.

To paint the trees, Sean first used brown acrylic over their entire surface, then I taught him how to 'dry brush' some other shades of brown over the top to create a bark effect. I then taught him how to 'stipple', and we stippled moss colors over the roots.

I drew some basic outlines of trees and Sean filled them in, this would provide a background which would be partially obscured by the 3D trees. I showed him how to make the shades lighter and bluer, to suggest distance.

Sean then painted the swamp floor in various shades of green and the lake area with a violet gray, floowed by blue. We then stuck cellophane (seran wrap) to the lake to simulate water.

Under careful supervision of his lovely uncle, Sean used a hot glue gun to stick the trees in place. He then learned how to use the glue gun to create cobwebs, which turned out to be a lot of fun!

Using green pipe cleaners, we created ground creepers, twisting them around the trees. We then painted the creepers with darker greens and a touch of brown.

Using the glue gun and a ball of green wool, Sean attached vines to the tops of the trees. This would give the foliage something to hang on to.

We then used the paint to color the moss we had. There were two different types of moss, the spongy, bushy sort and the grassy sort. We used green paint to color them, and then stuck them to the tops of the trees, allowing it all to hang down in a very swamp-like fashion!

And here is Sean looking very pleased with himself. We think his Dagobah diorama looks amazing, and we hope we have inspired you to have a go at making your own, whether you are seven or seventy seven!

Some shots of the finished model.

Thank you - we hope you have enjoyed our report!

Turning to the Dork Side #8

Turning to the Dork Side

Turning to the Dork Side #6

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Turning to the Dork Side #5

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Turning to the Dork Side #4

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Turning to the Dork Side #3

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Dreams of a Golden God

04.008 – See Threepio in To Shut Down, Perchance to Dream.

Ben gets up and goes to a chest where he rummages around.
As Luke finishes repairing Threepio and starts to fit the restraining bolt back on, Threepio looks at him nervously. Luke thinks about the bolt for a moment then puts it on the table. Ben shuffles up and presents Luke with a short handle with several electronic gadgets attached to it.

BEN: I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damned-fool idealistic crusade like your father did.

THREEPIO: Sir, if you'll not be needing me, I'll close down for awhile.

LUKE: Sure, go ahead.

Threepio shuts down, relieved to rest after the turbulent start to the day. As he drifts into standby mode, he hears the voices of his new master and the old man as they speak of jedi knights, pilots and dark lords.

Suddenly, Threepio finds himself in a dark room. The ground underfoot is soft and billowy and his internal gyroscopes whine in protest as he attempts to stabilize.

THREEPIO: Hello? Hello? Is there anybody in here? I don’t believe the ground is entirely stable…

A sardonic voice echoes through the gloom.

VOICE (O.S.) Professor, professor, professor….

THREEPIO: Oh my, who is that? May I be of assistance?

A light appears before Threepio as a crack opens in the wall. Threepio walks towards it and squeezes through, only to step into space and plummet into the swirling void.

THREEPIO: So many stars…

He holds his arms flat to his sides and discovers that he has the power to navigate his way through the cosmos, twisting left and right as he blazes past glowing, yellow planets and lush, green moons.

THREEPIO: I thought I hated flying, but this is quite…

Suddenly green laser blasts pepper the space around him and several TIE fighters sweep overhead. Threepio reaches out to change direction, and discovers that his arms have been replaced by beams of light, one blue, one red, that cut swathes through the vacuum and make short work of the fighters. As the last fighter explodes, Threepio is knocked sideways and falls a short way to land on a large, flat surface. Around him several medical droids make themselves busy, and he cranes his head to see that his legs are missing. An FX model rolls up with a pair of golden legs in its arms.

THREEPIO: Shut me down! Machines building machines!

A towering, black-clad figure emerges from the end of the bed and takes the legs, spot welding them in place. The figure’s breathing is deep and labored, but when it speaks, it has the high voice of a child.

TOWERING FIGURE: There! Now you can help mom!

The bed tilts back, depositing Threepio into a glaringly white room. In the middle of the room stands a young woman dressed in a shimmering gown. In the distance the sound of two babies wailing drifts in and out, and the woman hangs her head in sorrow. As Threepio reaches out to offer her his hand she flickers and disappears, to be replaced by a young man with blond hair and one black glove. He looks like Master Luke, but a much older version.

OLDER LUKE: Use your magic, Threepio.

Before Threepio can respond, the Older Luke stretches out his gloved hand and pushes him backwards to land on a large wooden throne. The air warps and swirls around him, and he finds himself sitting in the middle of a forest. All around his metal feet are tiny astromechs droids, no taller than his ankles. The droids mill about, beeping and chattering with each other; plotting ways to overthrow the Golden God. Threepio stands and starts to kick the little droids, slamming them into each other and rapidly turning them into scrap.

Eventually he is knee deep in droid parts and as he tries to wade through the metal mire, he suddenly notices the trees growing closer on either side of him, like large wooden walls. A comlink is hanging by a thread just out of his reach, and as he stretches in vain for it, the sounds of screaming echo through the diminishing forest. He then realizes it is his own scream that he hears. Threepio puts his hands to his photoreceptors as the walls advance ever closer, ready for the final crush. But nothing happens. Instead, he hears the sound of mocking laughter in a thousand different languages.

Threepio takes his hands away from his photoreceptors and discovers that he is standing on the central pod of the Galactic Senate building. All around him hundreds of pods swirl away into infinity, each one holding different alien species, and all of them pointing at Threepio and laughing uproariously. Threepio tries to drown out their laughter and looks down at himself to find out what is causing the outburst. It is then that he sees his plating is missing. In alarm he tries frantically to shield his exposed wiring with his hands, but to no avail. He cries out.

THREEPIO: I’m naked!

Fade to black – end of act one.

Love among the Stars

04.007 – R4-P17 Astromech Droid

From personal data stream memory banks.

442.7 – Look at him. Look at the way he commands everyone’s attention as he strides across the hanger floor. I love what he’s done with his hair, so long and wavy – ah, if I only had fingers….

So it appears that I am to navigate us to the Kamino system. According to my charts there’s nothing there, just a vacuum well, like the hollowness I feel when he is not beside me in his cockpit.

We’re away – preparing to dock with the hyperdrive ring. When I hoped for a ring, this wasn’t what I had in mind exactly. Still, at least we get to watch the stars together.

443.9 – So, there is a planet. It’s very wet here. Nothing like a walk in the rain though… what? Wait with the ship? But I… and there he goes, his wet hair clinging to his broad shoulders, his robe starting to cling to his thighs…

444.2 – It’s been an age! Where is h… ah there he is. What’s that, scramble code five? Old folk’s home? Oh master, all business one moment, and then so boyish the next, I could gaze into those eyes foreve... where was I? Oh yes. Patching through now.

That sounds dangerous! Wouldn’t you rather wait for back up than go and get the bounty hunter alone? Master? Obi Wan?

452.1 – An explosion! I do hope Master Obi-Wan was nowhere near that…

456.2 – Here he is, he looks flustered. What can I do to soothe your nerves, master? Ooh, he’s in a rush! Gently, gently, master Kenobi. Tracking device? Follow who? Who is she?

456.9 – My mistake, it’s that dreadful bounty hunter. To make matters worse we have to navigate these asteroids. You know, now might be a good time to express my true fee…. - - - ! - ! - ! - -
What the hell was that? Seismic charge? Maybe what I have to say can wait.

There’s nothing like being in the hands of a master, see how effortlessly he glides though these obstacles, now he enters the tunnel, thrusting forward with wild abandon! Oh master, how I… what the!? That damn bounty hunter isn’t playing fair. Shake him off. Shake him off!

A missile? This is too much. Weave, master, weave! What was that? Jettison the spare parts? That’s Master Kenobi for you, never did like a girl with too much junk in her trunk.

457.2 – Ooh, we’re so sneaky. You know, I could all evening just rotating on this rock with you.

457.8 – Well, he certainly knows how to show a girl a good time. Blue, wet planet one moment, red and dusty the next – he’s a man of extremes, I love that. Wait here? Again?

459.1 – Well, that didn’t take long. Another patch through to the old folk’s home? I can do that. Look at him, so authoritative in his flowing robes, his manly stance, those piercing blue ey… what’s that? Oh, droidekas. My bad. Guess I wasn’t really paying attention. Where are you taking him? Get off him you brutes!

I do hope he comes back for me…

3 Years later

993.4 – This is how it should be! Soaring in the space above our twinkling home, banking left, banking right, nothing can touch my master. His apprentice has filled out quite nicely, can’t hold a candle to my Obi Wan though! Not sure about the other astromech droid though – there’s something about that R2 unit that freaks me out.

994.2 – Things are heating up! Just the way I like it! What’s that? Buzz droids! Oh no, I’ve seen what they can do to a girl; I’ve just had these diodes polished as well! Ugh – they’re all over us, what do I do?
What’s that R2? Do nothing? They’re not attracted to still droids, only active ones? OK – you seem to know best, but I… AAIIIEEEE, what the? R2, why?Master, I zzzzttt--- I lo zztttssttzz--- I love y…zzzttztztzzttttt……………………………………….

View from the Back.

04.006 - C-3PO Protocol Droid

From personal data stream memory banks.

7719/3 Vocal: That sounds like an R2 unit in there. I wonder if...

7719/4 Vocal: Hello? How interesting. Oh, my.

7719/5 Vocal: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I...I didn't mean to intrude. No, no, please don't get up. No!

7719/36 Internal: Spinning... hot suns... this is such a drag... I've been here before. I, I remember a factory, noise, bugs! Ooh! Filthy bugs! Get away! Shoo! Shoo! How perverse... machines making machines! No, no, I'm programmed for etiquette, not... hot, fires, dark in here. Where's Artoo when I need him? What are those? Ugh! Ugnaughts! Worse than Jawas! Oh my.

7719/42 Vocal: Mmmm. Oh, my. Uh, I, uh -- Take this off! I, uh, don't mean to intrude here. I, don't, no, no, no...Please don't get up. No!

7719/43 Internal: Chewbacca?

7719/44 Vocal: Stormtroopers? Here? We're in danger. I must tell the others. Oh, no! I've been shot!

7719/45 Internal: It's dark. Lock the door, Artoo! Where am....

7719/46 Vocal: Oh, yes, that's very good. I like that. Oh! Something's not right because now I can't see. Wait. Wait! Oh, my! what have you done? I'm backwards, you stupid furball. Only an overgrown mophead like you would be stupid enough...

7719/47 Internal: Shutting up, sir...

7719/59 Internal: How ignominious, strung up in a cloth net like a piece of meat. How typical of a wookiee. Hopefully Chewbacca can finish what he has started and we can all go home. I wonder what Artoo is doing right now. He would have put me back together alr... what is this hairy oaf doing? No, not on your back, I want to see where I am going, not where I've been!

7719/62 Vocal: If only you had attached my legs, I wouldn't be in this ridiculous position. Now, remember, Chewbacca, you have a responsibility to me, so don't do anything foolish.

7719/63 Internal: What a lot of noise. Why do I end up in such inhospitable locales? Oh, stormtroopers. Perhaps I should warn the wooki.....

7719/64 Vocal: Oh, no! No, no, no! Stop, Chewbacca, stop...!

7719/65 Internal: So this is how I am to be finished.

7719/66 Vocal: Yes, stop, please! I'm not ready to die.

7719/67 Internal: Thank goodness he still listens to Captain Solo. Hmm. Mistress Leia seems upset by something.

7719/68 Vocal: What...what's going on? Turn around, Chewbacca, I can't see. Oh...they've encased him in carbonite. He should be quite well-protected -- if he survives the freezing process, that is.

7719/69 Internal: I wonder if this was one of those moments Master Luke has warned me about. It might be my duty to state the obvious, but perhaps a tweaking of my optimism circuits might have softened the blow of my statement. Really, the fickle behavior of organics' reactions to situations still bewilders me.

7719/70 Internal: Now what's happening? Oh my. If I could reach up I would shut myself down.

7719/71 Vocal: I knew all along it had to be a mistake.

7719/72 Internal: Now perhaps Chewbacca will work with Master Calrissian and...

7719/73 Vocal: What are you doing? Trust him, trust him!

7719/74 Internal: I'm strapped to the back of a brute! He's saying Han. If you took your paws off Master Calrissian's throat you would be able to understand him.

7719/75 Vocal: It sounds like Han.

7719/76 Internal: Finally, this beast is listening to reason. Ah, there's Master Calrissian. He looks a bit flushed.

7719/77 Vocal: I'm terribly sorry about all this. After all, he's only a Wookiee.