Monday, June 25, 2007

Turning to the Dork Side #4

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Monday, June 18, 2007

Turning to the Dork Side #3


Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Dreams of a Golden God

04.008 – See Threepio in To Shut Down, Perchance to Dream.

Ben gets up and goes to a chest where he rummages around.
As Luke finishes repairing Threepio and starts to fit the restraining bolt back on, Threepio looks at him nervously. Luke thinks about the bolt for a moment then puts it on the table. Ben shuffles up and presents Luke with a short handle with several electronic gadgets attached to it.

BEN: I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damned-fool idealistic crusade like your father did.

THREEPIO: Sir, if you'll not be needing me, I'll close down for awhile.

LUKE: Sure, go ahead.

Threepio shuts down, relieved to rest after the turbulent start to the day. As he drifts into standby mode, he hears the voices of his new master and the old man as they speak of jedi knights, pilots and dark lords.

Suddenly, Threepio finds himself in a dark room. The ground underfoot is soft and billowy and his internal gyroscopes whine in protest as he attempts to stabilize.

THREEPIO: Hello? Hello? Is there anybody in here? I don’t believe the ground is entirely stable…

A sardonic voice echoes through the gloom.

VOICE (O.S.) Professor, professor, professor….

THREEPIO: Oh my, who is that? May I be of assistance?

A light appears before Threepio as a crack opens in the wall. Threepio walks towards it and squeezes through, only to step into space and plummet into the swirling void.

THREEPIO: So many stars…

He holds his arms flat to his sides and discovers that he has the power to navigate his way through the cosmos, twisting left and right as he blazes past glowing, yellow planets and lush, green moons.

THREEPIO: I thought I hated flying, but this is quite…

Suddenly green laser blasts pepper the space around him and several TIE fighters sweep overhead. Threepio reaches out to change direction, and discovers that his arms have been replaced by beams of light, one blue, one red, that cut swathes through the vacuum and make short work of the fighters. As the last fighter explodes, Threepio is knocked sideways and falls a short way to land on a large, flat surface. Around him several medical droids make themselves busy, and he cranes his head to see that his legs are missing. An FX model rolls up with a pair of golden legs in its arms.

THREEPIO: Shut me down! Machines building machines!

A towering, black-clad figure emerges from the end of the bed and takes the legs, spot welding them in place. The figure’s breathing is deep and labored, but when it speaks, it has the high voice of a child.

TOWERING FIGURE: There! Now you can help mom!

The bed tilts back, depositing Threepio into a glaringly white room. In the middle of the room stands a young woman dressed in a shimmering gown. In the distance the sound of two babies wailing drifts in and out, and the woman hangs her head in sorrow. As Threepio reaches out to offer her his hand she flickers and disappears, to be replaced by a young man with blond hair and one black glove. He looks like Master Luke, but a much older version.

OLDER LUKE: Use your magic, Threepio.

Before Threepio can respond, the Older Luke stretches out his gloved hand and pushes him backwards to land on a large wooden throne. The air warps and swirls around him, and he finds himself sitting in the middle of a forest. All around his metal feet are tiny astromechs droids, no taller than his ankles. The droids mill about, beeping and chattering with each other; plotting ways to overthrow the Golden God. Threepio stands and starts to kick the little droids, slamming them into each other and rapidly turning them into scrap.

Eventually he is knee deep in droid parts and as he tries to wade through the metal mire, he suddenly notices the trees growing closer on either side of him, like large wooden walls. A comlink is hanging by a thread just out of his reach, and as he stretches in vain for it, the sounds of screaming echo through the diminishing forest. He then realizes it is his own scream that he hears. Threepio puts his hands to his photoreceptors as the walls advance ever closer, ready for the final crush. But nothing happens. Instead, he hears the sound of mocking laughter in a thousand different languages.

Threepio takes his hands away from his photoreceptors and discovers that he is standing on the central pod of the Galactic Senate building. All around him hundreds of pods swirl away into infinity, each one holding different alien species, and all of them pointing at Threepio and laughing uproariously. Threepio tries to drown out their laughter and looks down at himself to find out what is causing the outburst. It is then that he sees his plating is missing. In alarm he tries frantically to shield his exposed wiring with his hands, but to no avail. He cries out.

THREEPIO: I’m naked!

Fade to black – end of act one.