Tuesday, April 03, 2007

View from the Back.

04.006 - C-3PO Protocol Droid

From personal data stream memory banks.

7719/3 Vocal: That sounds like an R2 unit in there. I wonder if...

7719/4 Vocal: Hello? How interesting. Oh, my.

7719/5 Vocal: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I...I didn't mean to intrude. No, no, please don't get up. No!

7719/36 Internal: Spinning... hot suns... this is such a drag... I've been here before. I, I remember a factory, noise, bugs! Ooh! Filthy bugs! Get away! Shoo! Shoo! How perverse... machines making machines! No, no, I'm programmed for etiquette, not... hot, fires, dark in here. Where's Artoo when I need him? What are those? Ugh! Ugnaughts! Worse than Jawas! Oh my.

7719/42 Vocal: Mmmm. Oh, my. Uh, I, uh -- Take this off! I, uh, don't mean to intrude here. I, don't, no, no, no...Please don't get up. No!

7719/43 Internal: Chewbacca?

7719/44 Vocal: Stormtroopers? Here? We're in danger. I must tell the others. Oh, no! I've been shot!

7719/45 Internal: It's dark. Lock the door, Artoo! Where am....

7719/46 Vocal: Oh, yes, that's very good. I like that. Oh! Something's not right because now I can't see. Wait. Wait! Oh, my! what have you done? I'm backwards, you stupid furball. Only an overgrown mophead like you would be stupid enough...

7719/47 Internal: Shutting up, sir...

7719/59 Internal: How ignominious, strung up in a cloth net like a piece of meat. How typical of a wookiee. Hopefully Chewbacca can finish what he has started and we can all go home. I wonder what Artoo is doing right now. He would have put me back together alr... what is this hairy oaf doing? No, not on your back, I want to see where I am going, not where I've been!

7719/62 Vocal: If only you had attached my legs, I wouldn't be in this ridiculous position. Now, remember, Chewbacca, you have a responsibility to me, so don't do anything foolish.

7719/63 Internal: What a lot of noise. Why do I end up in such inhospitable locales? Oh, stormtroopers. Perhaps I should warn the wooki.....

7719/64 Vocal: Oh, no! No, no, no! Stop, Chewbacca, stop...!

7719/65 Internal: So this is how I am to be finished.

7719/66 Vocal: Yes, stop, please! I'm not ready to die.

7719/67 Internal: Thank goodness he still listens to Captain Solo. Hmm. Mistress Leia seems upset by something.

7719/68 Vocal: What...what's going on? Turn around, Chewbacca, I can't see. Oh...they've encased him in carbonite. He should be quite well-protected -- if he survives the freezing process, that is.

7719/69 Internal: I wonder if this was one of those moments Master Luke has warned me about. It might be my duty to state the obvious, but perhaps a tweaking of my optimism circuits might have softened the blow of my statement. Really, the fickle behavior of organics' reactions to situations still bewilders me.

7719/70 Internal: Now what's happening? Oh my. If I could reach up I would shut myself down.

7719/71 Vocal: I knew all along it had to be a mistake.

7719/72 Internal: Now perhaps Chewbacca will work with Master Calrissian and...

7719/73 Vocal: What are you doing? Trust him, trust him!

7719/74 Internal: I'm strapped to the back of a brute! He's saying Han. If you took your paws off Master Calrissian's throat you would be able to understand him.

7719/75 Vocal: It sounds like Han.

7719/76 Internal: Finally, this beast is listening to reason. Ah, there's Master Calrissian. He looks a bit flushed.

7719/77 Vocal: I'm terribly sorry about all this. After all, he's only a Wookiee.

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