Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Doctor's Orders

05.002 – 2-1B Surgical Droid

Private medical files of Master Luke Skywalker
Includes Surgeon Droid notes and recommendations.


3ABY/32.87 – Master Skywalker reacted extremely well to the bacta treatment and should make a complete recovery from the injuries sustained at the claws of the wampa he encountered. All traces of hypothermia have been erased and his core temperature is now stable. All frostbitten extremities have been treated and saved.
In my opinion the patient was extremely lucky. This incident could have resulted in the loss of a limb.

I have observed the patient engaging in mutual transferal of saliva with a high-ranking member of the rebel alliance. I am detecting contradictory commands in my ethics circuits and am unsure whether I should reveal the results of my DNA records to either party.

3ABY/34.55 – The cybernetic hand that I have given Master Skywalker seems to be operating extremely well, though I am rather disappointed that the patient has chosen to cover it up with a glove, as my work on the synthi-skin took several hours to perfect. I have recommended that the patient avoid any strenuous activity over the next six weeks, including lifting heavy objects, racquet sports and dueling with Sith Lords.

I am happy to report that the relationship between the patient and the high-ranking official appears to have developed into a purely platonic one, and feel that I may not have to report the risk of genetic mutation through inbreeding.
I had enough trouble with that gungan couple several years ago.
Really, how does one explain that their child was born without webbed feet?

3ABY/58.02 – Minor scrapes and abrasions picked up whilst held in Kalaan Prison.
Removal of crude tattoo that read ‘Dad’ from upper arm; depiction of heart torn in two with the word ‘Leia’ inscribed upon chest also removed.

3ABY/89.88 – Master Skywalker suffering from acute case of Crimson Forever. Administering eye drops at 2-hour intervals and taking opportunity to reconfigure his cybernetic prosthetic.
Am still rather shocked at the facial transformation caused by the wampa attack, despite the bacta treatment.
The patient looks like he has been in a speeder crash.

4ABY/21.40 – Major restorative therapy required for Master Skywalker. I have repaired all damage sustained by cybernetic hand and am currently treating patient for major internal shock damage. The patient’s body appears to contain 57% more electrical charge than a normal humanoid, and discharging this surplus has proven to be complicated. I have had two FX-7 units short out on me already, plus the patient’s electro-static charge causes all hair and paper to levitate alarmingly.

I have had to administer 300cc of calming agent to his wookiee visitor.

5 comments:

Jedi Master Mina said...

LMAO...too funny!!

Oboe-Wan said...

OMG! Brilliant.

JediPug1 said...

Funny stuff!

Pablo Wan said...

Good one Fx-9!

Anesha said...

Hi Nice Blog . I don't really know a lot about Human Anatomy study or art, but that's just my 2 cents. Really great job though, Krudman! Keep up the good work!